My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
