He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sext me about skeletons
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
