1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
