I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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