were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
