How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
