Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
