you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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