omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
