A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
