Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
