woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
