U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's like heaven, but drunker
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
