oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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