i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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