Farmville is her only friend.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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