Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
