ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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