By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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