So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
