were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
