FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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