I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
