I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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