I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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