Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize