I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
