yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
