there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
