Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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