all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
