True but thats because hes a fetus.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
