This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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