can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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