do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
