IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
