You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
