Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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