i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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