Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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