If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
