11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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