so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
