I don't think brook has ever known best
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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