And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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