just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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