I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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