yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
