Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
