New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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