Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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