I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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