Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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