I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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