I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize