Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
