She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
