I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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