id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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