Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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