does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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