Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize