Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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