I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
